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Criminals Aren’t the Smartest to Begin With; These Examples Prove It

Criminals seem to forever find new and strange ways to break the law. Some are laughable and others cringe-worthy.

Some of the weirdest things were chronicled in the New York Daily News

Swiss Cheese Guy

Christopher Pagano dubbed the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” approached several females asking for some “holey” sexual healing before the cops stopped him. The dairy die-hard responded guilty in June to the come-ons and was sent to a sex offender program.

Incest is Best

Two siblings from Georgia were passing through the Empire state when they got hot and heavy in a tractor trailer — three different times. Chris Buckner, 20, and Timothy, her 25-year old brother, were caught in the act walking down a street. The duo told cops they pawed each other inside the church and were arrested on incest and sodomy charges.

Loaded Private Parts

There may be an issue of gun safety with this one.

Dallas Archer was pulled over and charged with driving with a suspended license. She picked up more charges after police found a 4-inch revolver in her — “private parts.” Law enforcement identified the rightful owner and tried to return the gun. The owner said the pistol would need a “bath in bleach” before he’d accept it.

Twerkin’ Jerks

Three twerkers broke out in dirty dance moves, flashed their privates and got caught by police. The mood was less joyful inside the jail, and it didn’t get any better when the police found pot, cocaine and prescription pills on the dangers.


An Ohio man was caught in June after he was caught having sex with a pink raft along a public road. Edwin Tobergta, 35, was indicted for public indecency and contempt of court. He first developed a relationship with a rubber raft in 2011 when he kidnapped a neighbor’s pink inflatable raft and had sex with it — as the neighbor watched.

Up on the Roof

Tony Orlando and Dawn, the 1970s hit makers, didn’t have this in mind. Two lovebirds were busted in July while trysting in plain sight — on the roof of a Newark Chipotle eatery. Passers-by noticed the lovebirds and called in the cops who ordered Michael Suh and Nicole Germack to break it up. The enamored couple kept at it for another minute and fled when the police told them they were under arrest. The pair escaped, temporarily, back to Suh’s apartment and were each arrested on charges of resisting arrest, indecent exposure, and conspiracy.

Cross-Dressing Biker

Gregory Herndon, 33, was wearing a bra when the cops found him riding his motorcycle. Herndon had been blocking an ATM and refused to let anyone else use the machine. When the cops patted him down, they found a crack pipe, two drug needles and a pair of woman’s panties in his pockets.